a forced breather

with all that's been on my mind and all that i have been trying to undertake, i have put myself in a very bad spot.
i have compromised my health for no reason.... i cant do anything to speed time up to get my answers.  instead, i have given myself an ulcer, forced anxiety attacks upon myself, and have become a complete zombie.  i'm missing out on enjoying little moments because i am trying to take on the whole world myself.
i don't know what it is that makes me feel bad for asking for help.  i mean, josh lives in this house too.  josh is audrey's daddy too.  i don't know why i feel like i have to work 40 hours, cook, clean, and take care of audrey on my own.
i have dreams and ideas and things i want to do and everything has been put on hold because of money or audrey or josh's schedule.
i think i finally have a means to an end here and the waiting game is KILLING ME (almost literally).
i need a break.  i need to relax.  i need help and the ability to ask for it without feeling bad.
now how to start....