someone's feeling like a grown up

it took one class.  one instructor in one class to snap me into the most amazing hopeful reality.
she always seems to put things into perspective for me.
to not sell myself short.
to see the big picture and plan ahead.
she thinks how i think and for that, im thankful.

taking radiography 1, i learned that after i take radiography 2, i can take a exam to get my license as a limited xray operator.  i can do that before i take my CMA board exam.  there are scholarships available for that license exam and my gpa is cumulatively a 3.9 so i more than qualify.

i was so hung up on this boy.  this scenario i dont understand and realistically WHO THE FUCK CARES?  right now is my time.  i spent 4 years with someone that always had me focused on him and taking care of HIS needs.  yes, audrey comes first OBVIOUSLY and im ok with that, but when she isnt here, there is NO reason i should be shitting around doing nothing or going out a lot to find an adventure buddy to be silly with.

i mean shit, i can get a license as a limited xray operator, get my certification for medical assisting, and after i take my hematology class, the possibilities for new job opportunities is amazing.  i am wasting precious hours that i could learn to better my life and audrey's life in the long run focused on some trivial bullshit.  yeah, who doesnt love sex and being hugged?  what girl doesnt like being told she's pretty and getting attention?  i dont know a single one that hates that.  BUT.... why invest MORE time in someone else right now when i don't have that much time to even invest in myself?

and i am already loved so much.  i knock on the door at day care to pick audrey up and i can hear her screaming "MY MOM IS HERE MY MOM IS HERE!"  i get hugs and an excited little smile.  she is so proud to show me things and on the ride home will tell me "mom i have hugs for you."  seriously, how could you want more?

amazing job opportunities once i get the next 2 semesters under my belt and even MORE once i get the next 3 and my externship done and a smiley amazing little lady that loves me unconditionally.

who could really want more than that?