Saturday, November 19, 2011

holding out or giving up?

ever since i was about 15 years old, i day-dreamed of a prince charming with brown hair, blue eyes, some facial hair, maybe some tattoos, and gallantly introducing himself by means of a guitar and song.  needless to say, NO ONE i have ever dated has been this man.  i had close.... light brown hair, blue eyes, facial hair and NO tattoos or music skill, OR musical skills with brown hair and brown eyes and NO tattoos, or none of the above completely.  i thought he was a myth, because why, any time i did think i found this said fellow, he belonged to another or simply was not attracted to me?
so, do i hold out or give up? 
im not entirely happy at this moment with where things are in my life.  i feel that i deserve better most days.  i feel that this prince charming will "get me" if i ever find him. 
am i being absolutely ludicrous and need to head down a more sane and settling path, or do i hold out for this possible hopeful?
every time i think i find him, i turn into a spastic little puppy, wanting to know right then and there if he is right, and then i frighten him away only to never know and be dubbed a psychopath.  deep down, i swear im 13 years old.
maybe one day i will meet this gallant prince that strolls about with songs he plays for me, or maybe, maybe this person is a dream.... someone to write such blogs about and have good dreams at night.
i suppose i will never know until my time here is done, or until he finds me first.