Wednesday, June 15, 2011

"the day you stop learning is the day you stop living"

maybe things are looking up....


well, i had a massive mental overhaul the other day and things i think are finally on the upswing.... although there are a few people still that make my heart sting with their blatant ignoring me, but.... maybe there's a reason they're inching their way away from me.  maybe they're not the people i thought they were after all. 


i BEYOND passed my placement tests for school, got accepted, and realized i will soon be in debt up to my eyeballs, but ....i will have accomplished something.  i will have an associates degree in SOMETHING I WANT TO DO AND CAN DO!  i dont think ive been more determined about something (except when i was training for BJJ AMERICAN NATIONALS 3 years ago).  even then, i had to prove all the guys wrong that told me i was stupid for going and would lose right away.  i got a gold medal on  my mantle that says otherwise.  same with getting my associates in medical assisting.  this is something i know i can and want to do.  i can test out of some things and am determined to just go full swing and get it done earlier than the 2 year assumed end date. 

for once, i feel focused.  for once, i feel driven.  i want to put everyone in their place for quitting on me and put myself in my place for quitting on me.

on a non selfish note, audrey is thriving greatly!  the doctor was very impressed with her cognitive skills, how much she understands like when you give her a direction to do something, her imaginative skills, and the fact that she says more than 5 "words."  it was also a sweet and refreshing thing to hear from her doctor that i am doing a fantastic job and am a great mom.   i dont always feel at my best or that i'm doing anything right, but ... life is all about learning.  the day you stop learning is the day you stop living.

No comments:

Post a Comment