literally i am getting so sick of meeting new people.... and by people i mean guys.... and by meeting i mean like wasting my time trying to get to know someone in an attempt to have a meaningful thing with another person....
is the world entirely sex crazed? what happened to a guy being a gentleman and like honestly wanting to get to know a girl they asked out? i mean seriously... do you know how many scarves i could have crocheted in the few hours i spent watching you get drunk, flatter yourself, and try to get down my pants? i hate going to the gym and using energy i dont have with physical activities, so what makes you think i would like to waste any of my miniscule amount of energy slapping your hands away from my crotch or getting your hands off of the back of my head in an attempt to have me put your erect penis in my mouth?
it makes me feel small and worthless and ugly.
i dont feel proud looking at myself.
i mean, inside i know im worth more than this horrible treatment but it seems that this is what is desired and acceptable.
i think im pretty ok looking most days.
i am pretty damn talented.
im a lot more kind and generous than i ought to be.
i care a lot more than i should for people.
i mean literally if you just want a mute female to suck your dick and get you off.... there's like dolls for that shit. go get a fucking prostitute and pay her to shut up.
i can have sex with a rando. i can get a fuck buddy im sure.
i dont want that.
i want someone to like and respect me for me.
i want someone who wants to actually get to know me and wont run away at the first sign of imperfection or flaw.
i want someone who isnt afraid of my bad days.
i want someone who will let me in on their bad days too.
i want someone to talk to.... to be a nerdy and dorky best friend with ...
the sex will come.... when it's meant to.
and it will be so much better because it wont be about a 5 star performance that makes all the porn youve ever watched pale in comparison.... it'll actually mean something.
so i beg of you male gender.... can it please just for once not be about sex and be about meaning? for the love of GOD if anyone is out there that isnt just out for copious amounts of sex.... comment below because im losing hope that there is a solid and decent male left out there.
yeah this sort of shitty interaction with the male gender gives me time to focus on me and baking and my amazing lady friends but... sometimes i just selfishly want someone to care about and someone to care about me back.