playing catch up

i havent written in a while.
i gotta say i don't think i like a 40-50 hour a week job.
i hate it actually.

what i want out of life is continued learning. 
i dont want to stop being in school and delving deeper into the worlds of science and medicine. 
in fact, i understand that the fat dorky lil kid that begged her dad for a microscope should have been encouraged to continue that path instead of laughed at.
so, im 30 and realize now my life dream is to be a scientist and get into things on a neurological level doing biomedical engineering, research and development.
i feel a little behind but so energized and driven to pursue this with or without any support or encouragement.

i look back onto the past 2 years and see what i've accomplished with barely any help and a lot of love from family and friends, new and old.

speaking of family and friends, i barely see you guys.
im forced to love on you via social media sites, and for now, i suppose it'll have to do.

im thankful for the new ones ive met.
the ones that have encouraged me to know and like the real me and let her come out in full force.
the ones that have set me straight with some serious verbal bitch slaps and also some serious hugs and love.

so i read this blip of an article today that talked about peace coming from knowing and accepting ones true self.
i think about how before this summer, that was just some dream of mine.... to grasp who i really am, not the me i think i am, and to really love myself and be proud of myself.
it took a while, but through no kind words of another soul, im getting there.
im realizing how mean i am to myself and how, the closer i get to understanding who i am and the purpose i have, the more greatness i can give.  life is a whole lot better when you're giving.

so maybe this little blog post is a catch up for all of the beautiful people i miss and don't get to see.
i love and appreciate you so much more than you could ever understand.  thank you for who you're helping me realize i am and regardless of how much time passes between our meetings, always being super loving and supportive and kind.

that's all for now i suppose.  this is where i am and i have a lot of people to thank for helping me get here and i wont stop.  i just want to keep going and see what's next....