Saturday, November 16, 2013

35 minutes left

I gave myself 35 minutes more of feeling this horrible.  I feel like someone scraped my chest with a cheese grater and has rubbed salt and citric acid in at the same time. 
I believed you and you turned out to be a fine actor and the greatest liar. I said goodbye but I really want to shake you to a normal state where you're not obsessed with this stupid popularity game. where you and I  hang out and goof on shit and talk and debate. where I compliment you repeatedly just to see you turn stiff and pink cheeked. 
you taught me once again that I can't trust anyone. how you could lie so much to my face is what's really painful. I don't wanna feel like this. 
even while explaining to you how your recklessness in word and action has hurt me,  you never said anything but an excuse. you never said you cared or admitted to lying. you just gave excuses.
what really sucks is that you had this in mind all along just to  use me when convenient and I was too stupid again not to run screaming at first sight of that.
I don't like you as a human right now but supposing some of your tall tales bore an ounce of truth, I hope the normal you that is genuine and has a soul surfaces again.
til then, I have 26 min left of crying cos I feel so stupid and lied to. I have 26 min left to remember you have no soul and think lying to people so you can have some  popularity and momentary satisfaction on hold for whenever you need is ok.  I have 24  min left now to erase you from my brain and rid myself of any thoughts you'll come good on some things you said.  22 minutes now and then I forget you as easily as you forget me.

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