Friday, January 11, 2013

end of the 3rd, 2 rounds left

today was a breaking point, a meltdown of catastrophic proportions.
and all right in front of bubs.

i spent the better half of our morning together crying hysterically over things far outside of my means of control.

thank goodness for the cookies we made the other day.
thank goodness for bubs performing with her microphone and harmonica and feeding me toy cake.
thank goodness for loving texts and facebook messages to let me know that i have love and support even though i feel broken and alone.

this is so hard.
im really at a loss and am far more in the hole than i ever dreamed.
and J is still scott free doin his thing while im stuck with a house i didn't entirely want in a neighborhood that is terrible with not very many options on how to get out of this financial shithole. 

im sure this is the part in the fight where im counted out, bloody and stumbling.  end of the 3rd round, the bell sends me back to my corner.  the doc and my coaches want me to throw in the towel.  blood is dripping into my eyes and they are near swollen shut. 

here comes the clincher.
do i quit or carry on?

im still not much for quitting.
i cant see, i cant breathe, and im sure my nose and ribs are broken.
but i shake it off and get to my feet, hands ready to fight.  im staring my opponent down....

i have 2 rounds left in this title fight.
let's see what happens next.

the bell comes the 4th.

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