reality strikes

im staring at the clock hoping that the minutes will just slow.
the shit storm that is my normal schedule is now starting up.  no more days off work, no more time without school and tests and homework.  back to muay thai.  back to having one day to do errands and having my house cleaning slowly fall to the wayside.  back to putting my guitar back in the corner until i have a real actual break from the chaos.

but i think about what i'm working towards.
a better life for me and bubs.
im working towards a license in limited scope xray and im working towards a certification in medical assisting.  im working towards a career with set times, better pay, and better hours for the things i want to do.
and i have plans for the money i make.

obviously i want a better house for me and bubs and a really nice kitchen so i can bake and a room with a record player and shelves full of vinyls and books.  those are my "selfish" spends.
but i really want to make enough extra to donate to my musician friends.  so maybe i will never make a name for myself in that scene or maybe it will just take time to when im done with my schooling.  regardless, i want to live in a way that i can help my friends that own labels or are musicians.  touring costs money.  making albums and merch costs money.  but i want to support them.  i want to help them succeed in the life they believe in.

so yes, right now, i cant spend my weekends at shows and my days off are rare and treasured.... but in a year or so this will all be worth it.  and then i can help in the way that i want to and see them make a name for themselves.

so to all my musician friends.... just you wait... i want to help you succeed in the ways that others have helped me.  <3