here's to some mom shit

i never wanted a kid.
i never wanted to be a mom.
i wanted to be on my own, exploring, and just doing my own thing.
i wanted to get a beat up car and take my guitar and a few clothes on the road and just see what happened and where id end up and get to play.

life had a different plan for me.
im actually beyond thankful i did end up with bubs because i wasnt doing anything remotely productive with my life and had sold my dreams for a dude that was not worth an ounce of my time in the long run.

but anyway, then there came bubs.
suddenly things just clicked.
i didnt have a set plan but i knew things had to change.
someone was depending on me to show them what is right and how to be a good person.
someone was depending on me for love and support and stability.
it was no longer about me and my feelings and frustrations and what i wanted to do.

and as she's grown, the things she has taught me are astounding.
that little girl taught me to laugh again.
she taught me to let go and have fun.
she taught me to pretend and to color and to paint and basically just to be free and silly... and myself!
the person i once was that i had sold out for a penis (literal and figurative) was coming back.

and how i had missed that person i was.

so maybe not so much a happy mom's day post but moreso, im actually thankful im a mom.  im so seriously super thankful for a bubs that saved and changed my life and has helped me grow. 

one day bubs, i hope this type of technology still exists and you can read this and know how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, and how much you have done for me.
you are my absolute best friend and i am so happy to have you as my adventure buddy. 
your laugh is infectious, your smile is charming, you are creative and alive, and you seriously give the worlds best hugs.

cheers to bubs!