i had another weird moment.

suddenly it occurs to me as i am waking up one of my residents to use the bathroom that... i dont give a fuck.
not i dont give a fuck about him, but about all these nagging thoughts....

i like being nice.
i like being polite.
i like to smile.
i like waving and high fives.
i like sharing what i have with people.
i like having peoples' backs even if they would never ever have mine.
i like to help.
i like meeting new people and making new friends.
i like hanging out with people and getting to know them and hear their stories and learn about their lives.
and yes, i like texting people to see how theyre doing or make stupid comments and jokes to hopefully remind them to take a break and smile....

and yet, MANY will view me as fake, phony, creepy, weird, and not worth their time.

and........
that's fine.

why oh why oh why why why would i even begin to think of toning myself down or changing myself at all?  i am who i am and im proud of that.  the world needs more  laughter.  the world needs more high fives.  the world needs more people who care less about how they are received and more about spreading smiles like whores spread stds. 

so, no, you dont have to like me.  you dont have to want to know me or be around me or give a shit to ever really see me outside of me asking how you are in passing.  and im ok with that.  people will come and go but ill always have me.  and just because the world has forgotten how to be kind and polite and to not act so elitist and just be welcoming to all because we ALL have stories and struggles and have ALL been left out and abandoned and hurt..... that doesnt mean i wont be.

so take me or leave me.  this is me.
ill make you birthday cards and probably buy you balloons even tho i barely know you.
ill bake you cupcakes just cos i feel like it.
ill ask you to go exploring at a random hour because it seems like a good idea.
ill text you gibberish or a picture of cankles because i think you need a laugh.

so yeah world... thats that.  back to work.