"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

the one day i check my email, such an inspiring little quote.

and no i am not taking this as far as a recent male situation goes.

that's done.  

im taking it as far as a lot of things in my life that have crapped out on me recently.

i always feel like i need to know the future and have everything mapped out.

and sometimes when i get a glimpse of stability and solid ground, i take that and run and then the ground beneath me turns into mush.

i think i know better and life likes to give me such pleasant reminders that i am not in charge and i don't know best.

and when the ground beneath my feet turns to mush and i cant wade through the muck, i get flustered and sad and angry....

but i don't realize that sometimes, maybe im reaching for something really good off a high shelf and i think it is the best thing ever, the one thing i really need.... and in my attempt to reach it, it falls and shatters to the floor.  well what if by bending down to pick up the pieces, i notice something on a lower shelf that i wouldn't have noticed had i not broken the original item i was after.  and what if this something on a lower shelf is way more awesome than the one thing i was trying to get.

the point is, i can't put so much stake in any one thing.  nothing is stable.  nothing is set in stone.  this little moment i have right now in life is just one minute speck in a greater spectrum of events that i cant see.

i dont know what's best.  i just have to take what comes and know that my two little human hands are incapable of controlling anything.