Monday, October 22, 2012

spies all around me

it's like fucking nazi germany.
i know which people are the ss soldiers that are "reporting back" and making things even worse than they are.
it's the ones that lied the best to me.
it's the ones that said they were my friends.

that really sucks.
it sucks that words can't be trusted to remain between two people.
it sucks that people feel the need to go around and do things like that at the age they are at.
maybe their life needs some drama, some excitement.
mine is fine.

im out in the world doing things and meeting new people.
im facing my demons head on and challenging myself.
i missed those challenges.
right now for some reason instead of going to work at this early hour, i want to scale a wall or go rock climbing.  i want to push myself harder than i've ever been pushed.  i don't care what eyes are staring or who is judging or saying what.  i just want to go.  i want to do something bigger than i've allowed myself the capability to think i could even attempt.

maybe it's the life of single mom working and going to school that is finally catching up with me.  the mundane, drab, day to day set routine.  i need an adventure, a break from this cycle.

maybe today's the day i find it.
go report that back to your general.  

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